Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Tao of Steve

The Tao of Steve is a movie. The movie is not the topic of the post. In the movie a dating/seduction strategy is explained that I believe is the most effective strategy for getting a mate in the short term that I am aware of. I am interested in writing this post because i need to be rehoning my skills here. While this strategy will never get you married, it manipulates the hell out of people, which might not make you a good person, but, eh....on to the plan.

Step One:

Be desireless. We desire that which retreats from us. It is absolutely key to not want to get laid at all in order to get laid. This is most effective when it isn't really even an act. convince yourself you don't want it. Do not want it.

Step Two:

Be excellent in her presence. This can be anything that your quarry would be impressed by. It gets to that primal thing where the girl will choose the mate who seems to have the best quality. If you are good good at bar games, make her your pool/darts/shuffle board partner and then beat everybody. If you are funny be funny. If you are smarter than everybody else be smart(though I have found guys who act 'clever' have bad luck. keep it subtle). it doesn't really matter, just do at least one thing impressivly.

Step Three:

Be gone. Again, we pursue that which retreats from us. After being desireless, then doing one great thing to prove your sexual worthiness, you must again retreat. do not pursue anything the first night. Leave her with only the impression of the desireless and excellent sketch of a person you have constructed. It will pay off.

If you complete these steps accurately and successfully you can get laid. A lot. The obvious problem here is that it is so artificial. The person becomes attracted to a very vague idea of you. Then, later, you are in a situation that has a very, very shakey foundation.

There are factors beyond simply the game though. Whether or not we would like to believe it, there are some people who are just too attractive for you to date. whoever you are. If you are one of my friends this is even more the case. Even if you do end up landing a girl who is way too attractive for you this will ultimately make you crazy. Try to avoid that girl who you know is too good for you, I assure you, she is (fuck what movies and shit would lead you to believe. unless you have some crazy x factor like being really rich or in a rock band or something). The flipside to this, is that there are girls who are going to be very attracted to you. If this is case it is hard to behave in a way that will do anything to screw up how money you are, you don't need the plan.

Let me just say, my belief in the power of this plan has been rejuvenated lately because it was properly executed on ME! I was obsessing over this girl that wasn't even that good. I couldn't get her out of my head. It was crazy. The trickiest part is the second retreat. After you start to think you are doing really well and are having a good time and naturally this will end in something and then BAM! gone. you are like what happened? was it me? what did i do? how do i get a second chance? You find yourself not thinking about whether or not that person is even good for you but instead simply hoping for the chance to run into them again. You need to get them to show them how cool you are. ugh.

good luck out there. break some hearts.

ps - yes, i know in the movie honesty was the only real strategy to find love and have a reltionship. It was the shallowness of the plan and the lifestyle that surrounds the plan that led to the unhappiness of the movie's hero. what. ever. nobody is happy. settle for having sex.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes. You should definitely look to romantic comedies for relationship inspiration.

I hear some other good tactics are to start emailing a rival bookstore owner, get a too-hot-for-you girl pregnant then charm her by pretending to care, or travel back in time and save a princess from an arranged marriage by using your futuristic sorcery. That last one would probably work best for you.

William said...

what movie is that last one...black night?

Anonymous said...

I don't know, really. It just seemed like a movie that's probably been made.

Unknown said...

Try Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure....