What the hell happened to Dana Carvey?

So, I guess it's pretty much an unstated fact that Dana Carvey's post-SNL career has been abysmal. "Master of Disguise" should not be the high point of anyone's career.

I've seen some Web ads for his new stand-up special and boy, does he look C-R-E-E-P-Y-! Dude has had some work done. Last I saw him he looked an appropriate 50ish. Now he looks like he'd be working as Joan Rivers' poolboy. Check it out:


Face lift? Check.
Eye Lift? Check.
Botox? Check.

I think he's even wearing a wig. It's terrible. I used to like this guy.

In the Carvey vs. Myers dual Carvey has been a did-not-finish. It takes real talent at sucking to make Mike Myers' stint as "The Love Guru" look like comic gold ... but Carvey seems to have done it. The preview for his stand-up looks desperate. And the name, "Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies?" Cringe worthy.

Agent: OK, Dana, now all we need is a title. What do you want to call your new stand-up special?

Carvey: (Adjusting his wig) Uh, let's see. Something about a monkey. A monkey line is always a sure laugh. Like, "When Mokeys Fly Out of My Butt!" That's good right?

Agent: No, Dana. Mike Myers already has the copyright on that line.

Carvey: OK then, let's mix it up. How about something that sounds like a fortune cookie. Like broken English sounding. People still laugh at foreigners, right? Maybe something mysterious, like, "Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies." And then I'll be dressed like a monkey. And I'll squat down and, like, take a poop and say the F-word a lot.

Someone needs to tell this guy it's OK to stop trying.